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OCEANAGHITVIZ
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Correction - oral bac anglais "Idée de progrès"

Bonjour à tous,j'espère que vous allez bien.
Je cherche quelqu'un qui pourrait me corriger mon oral d'anglais ci-dessous s'il vous plait. Merci beaucoup !
I’m going to talk about « Idea of progress ».
The Idea of Progress is the theory that the different advances in technology, science, and social organization can produce an improvement in the human condition. However, the idea of progress is still debate between those who consider that it’s beneficial and those who think it’s harmful.
So we may wonder if we should fear progress. In particularly in the realm of the medicine and the technologies.
First, I’m going to talk about the technological progress, and in a second part I will talk about medical breakthroughs.
Today, there is as more cellphone contract than people in the world, that’s denounce the monstrous proliferation of new technologies at global scale. Indeed, for example, the teenagers become obsessed by social networks, videos games or texting messages. We saw in class two drawing that denounce the dangers of an addiction to new technologies. On the one hand, you can forget your real life, being strangled in a virtual life and become isolated. On the other hand, we saw that the cartoonist warms us that an excessive use of new technologies can lead people to an separation with the others. On the photo, we can see a child who prefers waste his time on his devices instead of communicate with his parents during the dinner. In spite of all these dangers of new technologies, we must admit that phone or computer have a lot of advantages and make our daily life easier as to keep in touch with people who live far away with Skype or access to information about anything in 5 seconds.
Beside, in a article written by Clara Young which the title is “The internet has made sharing so easy that people may stop buying things”, it appeared a new concept a little bit surprising. Indeed today, with internet you can even share or rent cars, objects of daily life that you need, or to find someone’s apartment where you can stay in any city you are planning to travel to thanks to some applications like Couchsurfing, Zipcar, Neighborgoods. Sharing is no only eco-friendly in that reduce the waste, but it’s also beneficial in the plan social, because it develop trust, generosity and brotherhood between people.
Then, in this second part, I’m going to talk about the notion of progress in the realm medical. Indeed, we have done huge advances in science, and its allow to cure lots of illnesses such as Franconi’s Anemia. We studied in class through an article from USA today published in 2010, the case of Molly, a first girl who have been saved from this rare disease by her little brother, Adam, a medicine baby who was conceived in a test tube. The technique used to make Adam is called PGD (Pré-Implantation genetic diagnosis), it’s a way to select embryos and check his genetic make up before implanting it in the mother’s uterus. We learned in class through an article from CSH Globe online, that today PGD also allows people to have a baby with whatever traits they wish, so to design their future baby as easily as to order a fast-food. Even if PGD was at first, created to predict genetic diseases, today this technique could be misused and lead to the creation of a second class citizens who seems perfects, is that we call also eugenic. This a science which tries to improve the human race with genetic selection or manipulation as PDG. So, I thinks progress of medicine can be in the same time extraordinary and frightening because it allow to save many lives and cure a lot of illnesses but can also dehumanize people and cause a lack of the diversity.
To conclude, Progress implies change and evolution, and throughout history most of the advances have been positive. However the rhythm of progress seems to have accelerated over the last few decades, and today fiction become reality. It seems cool, but progress can be very harmful if we don’t impose some limit to it. For my opinion, I’m a little bit afraid by this increase of progress because I think humans is so smart and can invent anything (like the time machine) which can cause colossal impacts on the humanity but I also admire these geniuses who saved thousand lives.

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SANTOS2VIZ
I’m going to talk about « Idea of progress ». 
The Idea of Progress is the theory that the different advances in technology, science, and social organization can produce an improvement in the human condition. However, the idea of progress is still debated between those who consider that it’s beneficial and those who think it’s harmful. 
So we may wonder if we should fear progress. In particular, in the realm of medicine and the technology.
First, I’m going to talk about the technological progress, and in a second part I will talk about medical breakthroughs.
Today, there is as more cellphone contract than people in the world, that’s denounce the monstrous proliferation of new technologies at global scales. Indeed, for example, teenagers have become obsessed by(with) social networks, videos games or texting messages. We saw in class two drawing(we had a look at two drawings in class) that denounce the dangers of an(remove) addiction to new technologies. On the one hand, you can forget your real life, being strangled (and be estranged)  in a virtual life and become isolated. On the other hand,(also/furthermore) we saw that the cartoonist warns us that an excessive use of new technology can lead people to an separation with the others(be seperated from others). On the photo, we can see a child who prefers to waste his time on his devices instead of communicating with his parents during dinner. In spite of all these dangers of new technologies, we must admit that phones or(and) computers have a lot of advantages and(that) make our daily life easier as we are able to keep in touch with people who live far away with(via) Skype or(and) to access information about anything in 5 seconds. 
Beside, in a article written by Clara Young which the title is “The internet has made sharing so easy that people may stop buying things”, it appeared to be a new concept that was a little bit surprising. Indeed today, with internet you can even share or rent cars, find objects of daily life that you need or even find someone’s apartment where you can stay in any city you are planning to travel to thanks to some applications like Couchsurfing, Zipcar and Neighborgoods. Sharing is no only eco-friendly in that it reduces waste, but it’s also beneficial in the plan(remove) socialization, because it develops trust, generosity and brotherhood between(among) people. 
Then, in this second part, I’m going to talk about the notion of progress in the realm of medicine. Indeed, we have done(had) huge advances in science, and it has allowed us to cure lots of illnesses such as Franconi’s Anemia. We studied in class through an article from USA today published in 2010, the case of Molly,the first girl to be saved from this rare disease by her little brother, Adam, a medicine baby who was conceived in a test tube. The technique used to make Adam is called PGD (Pré-Implantation genetic diagnosis), it’s a way to select embryos and check his genetic make up before implanting it in the mother’s uterus. We learned in class,too, through an article from CSH Globe online, that today PGD also allows people to have a baby with whatever traits they wish, so to making designing their future baby as easy as ordering fast-food. Even if PGD, was at first, created to predict genetic diseases, today this technique could be misused and lead to the creation of a second class citizens who seems perfects what is also termed as eugenic. This is a science which tries to improve the human race with genetic selection or manipulation as PDG. So(hence), I think(/my view) is  progress of(in) medicine can be extraordinarily good because it allows many lives to be saved and cure of a lot of illnesses while at the same time frightening as it can also dehumanize people and cause a lack of the diversity. 
To conclude, Progress implies change and evolution, and throughout history most of the advances have been positive. However the rhythm of progress seems to have accelerated over the last few decades, and today fiction has become reality. It seems cool, but progress can be very harmful if we don’t impose some limit to it. For(In) my opinion, I’m a little bit afraid of this increase in progress because I think humans are so smart that they can invent anything (like the time machine) which can cause colossal impacts on humanity but I also admire the geniuses who saved thousand lives.


note: the words in bold and in brackets are corrections done or corrections to be considered. Underlined words have their alternative replacement after them.
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