Notion "Idea of progress" pour le bac d'anglais (oral)

Bonjour à tous.
Je suis en train de préparer mon oral d'anglais et je viens de faire ma première notion. Si quelqu'un pouvait la corriger ca m'aiderait beaucoup.
Merci d'avance
Idea of progress
I am going to talk about the idea of progress. The progress can be defined as a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place. However the progress can't be all the time considered like a good thing, particularly when it comes to technological progress. So finally, “Should we fear technological progress?”. First and foremost the good point of technological progress and the way how he improved our life will be detailed. After that we will see the problems that technology can create.
In the one hand new technologies have really improved and change our life. With the new ways of communication (like e-mail, smart-phone...) people can now telecommute, which mean work from home. The telecommuter have a really different life, they can work where and when they like, they don't have to lose time in traffic jam and so we can say that technology have changed their life. But technology don't only change life, she can also save life, in fact medicine has become more efficient and permit to save a people. For example in an extract of the USA Today, we discover the story of Molly, a young girl saved by progress. In fact molly need a bone marrow transplant to live but it's really difficult to find a donor. Molly was saved by her little brother Adam, who have been selected as an embryo in a fertility lab because he have the same immune system that his sister. To sum up technology can improve, change and even save our life. But we can ask ourselves if technology can be a bad thing too.
In fact, in the other hand progress can be very dangerous. In fact in the text Do we rely too heavily on technology?, the author notice the fact that, with the improvement of calculator a lot of people don't know how to do easy calculation. The objective of the author it's to show that, we became really dependent of new technology. If tomorrow, surgeon was replaced by robot, in forty years who will still know how to do surgical operation? But the problem of technology isn't only a dependence, we must ask ourselves: can technology go too far? For example in the dystopia Brave new world write by Aldous Huxley we discover how terrible progress can be. In this document a men learn at student, how babies are “fabricated”. All humans are now clones and have been private of any individuality, they was considered more like slaves than humans. The principle of mass production, was at last applied to create humans.
In conclusion I'd say that, in my opinion, progress can be an incredible think, human need progress to evolve and we must continue to progress. However, we must put limit at the progress and make sure to never be too dependent of technology. We must continue our evolution but don't forget what we have learn before and take care to no exceed some limits. We shouldn't be fear of technological progress but we must take care of the way of how technology evolve.