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Bonsoir, je devais inventer une histoire à suspense en anglais, pourriez vous me la corriger s'il vous plaît?


I don’t know who I am, I don’t know where I am. It’s dark, I’m on the floor. It stinks. I stand up and I open the door. It seems that it’s a hospital but it’s strange because it’s ransacked. The lights are not on.


I move and I’m terrified. There is blood everywhere, on the floor, on the walls. I can see the dead body of a child.


Suddenly, I hear a strange sound. I turn around and I see nothing so, I turn around again and the body has disappeared. It seems to me I’m not alone here and this worries me a bit. I have feeling that I am being followed.


Suddenly, I can feel something grabbing my leg, it’s the child zombie.

So, I run as fast I can. The zombie run after me but he is slower than me and I can outrun. But I realize an other zombie hunt me. At the back of the hall I see the board “exit”. I rush to the door but it’s closed.


Therefore, I try to force open the locked door without success. I must to turn back and I open the frits door in my right. I enter and close the door in silent. I wait and praying for zombies don’t find me and go away. The room is plunging in the darkness and in the stench of death.

When zombies left, I turn on the lights. I am worried, horrified. I push a cry of horror, a face of zombie lie me at 5 cm of me. After one second of shock, I turn around and I run. But the other zombies heard my cry and arrive. I am surrounded.

Then all of sudden I look up to beg god, I am save! There is a flap. I jump to catch the ventilation hatch and I creep into the ventilation ducts.


While I continue to move in ducts, I can see that the place is infest for zombie. They shift slowly, they have a grey skin with stains green and brown. That look like to rot. It is so disgusting and frightening!


They don’t have teeth or they are rotten they don’t have a nose but only a hole. Their eyes are bulging.


When I watched zombie, I learn that they are stupid creature but very dangerous monster. Sometimes, they scream a huge “AAAAAAARGH” that shake the walls! I’m terrified every time t hear this sound.


I decide to sleep in the conducts because I’m exhausted and this is the only place where I’m safe.


ZZZZZZZzzz…


(6 hours after)


-AAAAARGH!!!


-AAAH! WHAT THE FUCK!?


Oh it’s just the zombie’s scream. I was afraid…

Now, I must to find a way to escape me t this nightmare… but I’m lost in the conduct, it’s worse than a maze. Suddenly I heard the incessant cry of a voice pleading for help. It’s a woman. I rush to a hatch and I watch a girl eaten by zombies. I’m so afraid, I’m paralyse.


So I turn around, I must make a plan to escape. All rooms were full of zombies. I decide to will out of the ducts in an operating room where there is only one zombie. It’s a surgeon zombie.

It’s the moment, the sawbones’s back is turned. I jump out of the conduct, I run to catch a scalpel and I slit him throat.

I must leave before the zombie rises. I therefore take a saw to defend myself and the dead doctor’s badge to access any rooms. I go out in silence in the hall but an electronic surgery knife fall and full of zombie arrive.

I’m in a shit!


I push the operating table against the door to have time to climb up at the duct. I close the aeration grid just before the first zombie kick down the door.


My plan failed, I will never get out of here. I’m dying here, alone.

That’s when, I remembered from my family. I have two sons. Also I remembered that I was a doctor in this hospital.

All my memories come back progressively to me. It’s amazing! I had to receive a shock when I fell. What caused an occasional amnesia.

I miss him, I would have preferred not to have remembered to them. I wonder if they are safe… I have to find them and for this, it is necessary that I escape me.


(Suite après on peux pas mettre plus de 5000 lettres)


Répondre :

I didn't know who I waa, I didn’t know where I was at. It was dark, I was on the floor. It stinked. I stood up and I opened the door. It seemed that it was a hospital but it was strange because was ransacked, and the lights were off.


 I was terrified but I moved. There was blood everywhere, on the floor, on the walls. But I could see the dead body of a child.

Suddenly, I heared a strange sound. I turned around but I saw nothing so, I turned around again and the body had disappeared. It seemed to me that I was not alone and it worried me a lot. I had the feeling that I was being followed.


Suddenly, I felt something grabbing my leg, it was a zombie child.

So, I runed away from him as fast I could. And the zombie ran after me but he was slower than me and I was able to outrun him. But then I realized an other zombie was hunting me. At the back of the hall I saw the board “exit”. So I rushed to the door but it was closed.


Therefore, I tried to force open the locked door without success. So I turn back and I openned the first door in my right. I entered and close the door silently. And I waited while praying that zombies wouldn't find me. The room was plunging in the darkness and in the stench of death.

When the zombies left, I turned on the lights. I was worried and horrified. Suddently I pushed a cry of horror! The dead body of a zombie was lying down just few inches frome me(en Anglais on employ plus inch que centimetre). After few seconds of shock, I turned around and I ran. But the other zombies heard my cry and came. I was surrounded.

Then all of sudden I looked up to beg god, to save my life! There was a flap. I jumped to catch the ventilation hatch and I creeped into the ventilation ducts.


While I continued to move in ducts, I could see that the place was infest for zombies. They shifted slowly, so I looked at them and I realised that they had a grey skin with green and brown stains. That looked like rotten. It was disgusting and frightening!


They didn’t have teeths or maybe they were rotten. They didn’t have a nose they only had a hole. Their eyes were bulging.


When I carefully watched the zombies, I learned that they weren't smart creatures but very dangerous monsters. Sometimes, they screamed a huge “AAAAAAARGH” that shoke the walls! I was terrified every time I heared that sound.


 So I decide to sleep in the conducts because I was exhausted and that was the only place where I was safe.


ZZZZZZZzzz…


(6 hours after)


-AAAAARGH!!!


-AAAH! BLOODY HELL!? (what the fuck est trop vulgaire pour un taf d'école)


But it was just the zombie’s scream. I was afraid…
Now, I must find a way that'll get me out of this nightmare… but I was lost in the conducts, it was worser than a maze. Suddenly I hearded the incessant cry of a voice pleading for help. It was woman. So I rushed to a hatch and I watched a girl being eaten by zombies. And I was so afraid that my extremities were paralyse(paralysie generale serai iréalistique pour cette histoire).


After a while I realised that I had to make an escape plan. But since all rooms were full of zombies, I decided to wheel out of the ducts in an operating room where there is only one zombie, a surgeon zombie.

When the moment came, I jumped out of the conduct, I runed to grab his scapel and I slited his throat.

I had to leave before the zombies came. Therefore I took a saw(si tu parle de l'arme, je te conseil de dire I took a "light machine gun" pour que le correcteur comprennent et de plus cela n'est pas logic car il n'y a pas d'armes de destruction dans les hostos) to defend myself and the dead doctor’s badge to access the looked rooms. I tryed to get out of the hall  silently but an electronic surgery knife fell and a hole lot of zombies arrived.

I'm doomed!(i'm in shit sa n'éxiste pas en Anglais) et de plus "shit" est trop vulgaire pour un taf d'école


I pushed the operating table against the door to buy my self enough time to climb up in the duct. I closed the aeration grid just before the first zombie kick down the door.


My first plan had failed, so I started thing that I might will never make it out of here. I’m maybe going die here, alone.

That’s when, I remembered my family. My two sons. Also I remembered that I was a doctor(si il prend un saw, sa ne fait pas de sens que ce soit un docteur, il ont peur des armes) in this hospital.

All my memories were coming back progressively to me. It was amazing! I had must have goten the shock when I fell. And I think that the trauma resulted in an occasional amnesia.

Now I miss them, I would have preferred not to have remembered them(la tu te contredit car avant tu dit it's amazing a se meme sujet). I wonder if they are safe… I have to find them and for this, it is necessary that I first make it out of here.




-good luck mate