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GOARZVIZ
résolu

Bonjour!
Je suis en terminal ES et je passe dans moins de 2 semaines mes oraux de langues. Quelqu'un accepterait-il de corriger voir d'apporter quelques améliorations à ma préparation orale? Merci infiniment

I’m going to talk about the notion of location and forms of power. First of all, the word power means the ability to control others, events, or resources. By the location, the form of power can vary. For example, in the US carrying a gun is authorized in contrast of others countries.
I’m going to explain to what extent can we say that the right to carry guns in the US is more harmful than beneficial?
For started, the Constitution created in 1789 was changed two years after, it’s the second amendment. In the first document entitled “understanding the historical context of the second amendment” we learnt that this small change allowed people to keep and bear arms. Indeed, from this day forward, all American citizens can have a gun legally.

Wayne LaPierre is a gun advocate and the president of the National Rifle Association. In a video, we learn that he supports firearms and claims that gun control in the United States is dangerous. In his view, this right is beneficial because it permits citizen’s security and protection in this land of freedom. He claims that “the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun”. Ideally, everybody should be armed. If this were the case in 2013, the terrorist could have been killed during the Boston marathon.
In another video, entitled Charleston Shooting Rekindles Gun Control Debate we learn that there are one-third of the population who has a gun and some people believe that the shooting of Charleston in 2015, happened because it’s not enough.

On the contrary, at the end of this video, there is a speech of the American president, Barack Obama. He says that we have to tougher the law about gun control because killing are more frequent in the US and “we've been blind to the unique mayhem that gun violence inflicts upon this nation”.

Indeed, we can see that the number of American people who died because of gun violence is much more than in the rest of the world and this number increases. In fact, the poster published by Brady Campaign wants to make us aware of guns in the US with striking statistics: In one year 17 people were shot in Finland, 60 in Spain and 200 in Canada. In the United States, they were 9 484. There is a huge of difference between the number of guns murdered in America and the others countries.

Finally, we can say that the law about the right to have a gun depending on the country. In the US, it isn’t difficult to buy a gun. In fact, in a document witch is an article entitled “Buying a gun legally in the US isn’t difficult” published in USA Today in June 2015 and written by Gregory Korte we learnt how easily it is to have a gun.
An American citizen can buy a gun legally in gun shows, gun stores, on the internet if he takes a background check. But an American citizen can, however, buy a gun through gun trafficking or straw purchases, he can also steal a weapon, and that isn’t legally. But in the gun shows, if you deal with a private collector you don’t need to take the background check.

We can conclude that the right to keep and bear arms is more harmful than beneficial in the US. Indeed, this form of power is more dangerous than safe because it offers a lot of liberty. The more, we can say that there is a loophole in the law and this offers more facilities to anybody to bear arms, also to the most dangerous people. Therefore, people who bear arms have a form of power compared at people who don’t. In the US, this difference of power is huge because there are much people who have firearms, compared at others countries. Indeed, it depends on the location.

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PSYCHOPASSVIZ
J'ai mis un @ aux endroits du texte que j'ai corrigé. De plus, tu devait écrire "compared to" et non "compared at". Majoritairement, tu as des fautes de ponctuation,surtout pour la virgule. Je ne promet pas d'avoir corrigé tous les fautes, et j'espère que j'ai aidé. I’m going to talk about the notion of location and forms of power. First of all, the word power means the ability to control others, events, or resources. By the location, the form of power can vary. For example, in the US, carrying a gun is authorized in contrast of others countries. I’m going to explain to what extent we can@ say that the right to carry guns in the US is more harmful than beneficial@. For starters@, the Constitution created in 1789 was changed two years after, it’s the second amendment. In the first document entitled “understanding the historical context of the second amendment”,@we learnt that this small change allowed people to keep and bear arms. Indeed, from this day forward, all American citizens can have a gun legally. Wayne LaPierre is a gun advocate and the president of the National Rifle Association. In a video, we learn that he supports firearms and claims that gun control in the United States is dangerous. In his view, this right is beneficial because it permits citizen’s security and protection in this land of freedom. He claims that “the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun”. Ideally, everybody should be armed. If this were the case in 2013, the terrorist could have been killed during the Boston marathon. In another video, entitled Charleston Shooting Rekindles Gun Control Debate,@ we learn that there are one-third of the population who has a gun and some people believe that the shooting of Charleston in 2015 @happened because it’s not enough. On the contrary, at the end of this video, there is a speech of the American president, Barack Obama. He says that we have to tougher the law about gun control because killing is@ more frequent in the US and “we've been blind to the unique mayhem that gun violence inflicts upon this nation”. Indeed, we can see that the number of American people who died because of gun violence is much more than in the rest of the world and this number increases. In fact, the poster published by Brady Campaign wants to make us aware of guns in the US with striking statistics: In one year 17 people were shot in Finland, 60 in Spain and 200 in Canada. In the United States, they were 9 484. There is a huge @ difference between the number of deaths by a gun@ in America and the others countries. Finally, we can say that the law about the right to have a gun depending on the country. In the US, it isn’t difficult to buy a gun. In fact, in a document,@ witch is an article entitled “Buying a gun legally in the US isn’t difficult” published in USA Today in June 2015 and written by Gregory Korte,@ we learn@ how easily it is to have a gun. An American citizen can buy a gun legally in gun shows, gun stores, on the internet if he takes a background check. But an American citizen can, however, buy a gun through gun trafficking or straw purchases, he can also steal a weapon, and that isn’t legal@. But in the gun shows, if you deal with a private collector,@ you don’t need to take the background check. We can conclude that the right to keep and bear arms is more harmful than beneficial in the US. Indeed, this form of power is more dangerous than safe because it offers a lot of liberty. The more, we can say that there is a loophole in the law and this offers more facilities to anybody to bear arms, also to the most dangerous people. Therefore, people who bear arms have a form of power compared to@ people who don’t. In the US, this difference of power is huge because there are much people who have firearms, compared to@ other@ countries. Indeed, it depends on the location.
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