When she was home from her boarding-school who used to see her almost every day
sometimes, because their house where was right opposite the Town Hall Annexe. She and her
younger sister used to go in and out a lot, often with young men, which of course I didn’t
like. When I had a free moment from the files and ledgers I stood by the window and
used to look down over the road over the frosting and sometimes I’d see her. In the
evening I marked it in my observations diary, at first with X, and then when I knew her
name with M.I saw her several times outside too. I stood right behind her once in a
queue at the public library down Crossfield Street. She didn’t look once at me, but I
watched the back of her head and her hair in a long pigtail. It was very pale, silky. I can’t say what it was, the very first time I saw her, I knew she was the only one. Of
course I am not mad, I knew it was just a dream I used to have daydreams about her, I used to think of
stories where I met her, did things she admired, married her and all that. The only times I didn’t have nice dreams about her being when I saw her with a
certain young man who had a sports car. those were days i let myself have the bad dreams
