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Bonsoir, désolé de déranger. Je dois donc inventer un conte, ce que j'ai
fais. J'ai d'abord tout écrit en français, et là je suis en train de tout
remettre en anglais, et j'aimerais que vous regardiez et que vous me
corrigiez en m'indiquant mes erreurs. S'il vous plaît, j'y ai passé
beaucoup de temps, j'aimerais vraiment avoir une bonne note. Voici le début du conte en français (il y a une suite mais je n'ai pas
encore commencé à la traduire)

Once upon a time, an orphan little boy. He is eleven years old and he lost
his parents who died in an accident when he was young. He has grown up in
an orphanage, his character «s'est renforcé» he quickly becomes independent.It was 11pm. The little boy, named/ called Jack was perched cross-legged,
doing his homework for the next morning. He was concentrated when he heard
a noise outside. He didn't pay attention, but the noise rings second time.

Curiously, he opened the window. He seen a bird who has a letter in his
beak. The bird «pose» the letter and it flew away. Jack taken the letter
and opens it.« Jack Smith, you wonder certainly why I wrote you and who I am. I'm your
grand/big brother Jack. I need your help. I'm locked since a long moment
into a castle kept/guarded by a monster. Please, takes it seriously and
don't ask a question. You are the only person who could help me. I beg you.Harry Smith, your brother »The little boys was reflecting. He thought that it was a joke. He
eventually gets up, dressed in a big coat and took a bag in which it put
the letter as well as of other one useful things. He had nothing to lose.
He had it has a good laugh of this routine, his commonplace life. He
took/brought out through the window most discreetly possible. The orphanage
was plunged into the dark, everybody seemed to sleep. He left the orphanage
and went in the direction of the North letting his intuition guide him. He
was walking without knowing really where he went. The little boy, tired,
walked in a small forest and decided to stop. He settled down on a small
rock, near a brook. Hequickly fell asleep there.Voilà, alors pouvez vous m'aider s'il vous plaît? Merci d'avance, vraiment!


Répondre :

- his character «s'est renforcé», je pense que tu pourrais mettre "he becomes strong" pour dire qu'il est devenu plus fort, non?
- pour "named" ou "called", les deux marchent donc utilise celui que tu veux. Pareil pour 
kept/guarded et took/brought
- "poser" tu peux mettr
e "puts down"
- "grand frère" se traduit plus comme "old brother"

Désolée, je n'ai pas pu complétement tout corriger, j'ai trouvé le reste très bon. Je suis certaine que tu obtiendras une bonne note!