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Bonjour, pouvez-vous me relire pour savoir si j'ai fais des fautes, ainsi que pour me dire si c'est assez coherent car je n'arrive pas à faire quelque chose de bien sur le feminisme, alors voici ce que j'ai fais mais bon, si vous avez des idées pour changer les phrases ou en ajouter, je suis preneuse, merci d'avance

"Hello, it’s Alexia. If you know me, you know that I created a campaign called «Equality is the new feminism» four years ago. Thank You Mister Obama for having me today. Today it’s an honor for me to being here. It’s a big moment in my life.
I'm here because feminism is an important cause for me, many women are still considered inferior to men. So, I turn to you, because I need your help. I need your help to end this gender inequality/sexism. And to do this I need everyone involved, as many people as possible to be supporters, in order to make a better world.

80% of women face sexism at work. 74% of French suffer from stereotypes. 1 in 2 women are afraid to go out alone because they are scared of being raped. When will these statistics apply to men? Or better, to noone?

I remember when I was 17th, I had a girl friend who always wanted to join the maths club, but she couldn’t. Because she was a girl. Nancy Reagan said : «Feminism is the ability to choose what you want to do.» So my friend persevered, and one day she joined this club.
I know that my parents didn’t love me less because I was a girl.
when will people stop belittling women? You may stop the prejudice about women dresses, or capacities.

Feminism by definition is the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. It’s the theory of political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.

In 1947, women were fighting for havin the right to vote. And today we are fighting for having the Human rights. So, if there is one thing I know for sure, is that has to end. Hillary Clinton made a speech about women’s rights. But many of the things she wanted to change, are still true today.

Once, Withney Wolfe said «Feminism is not about girl power, it’s about equal power»

Women have borne the weight of sexism for far too long, and that is what has prevented us from moving forward, the world we live in, we will make it better. For this, we must begin to treat women as equals. I want to make sure that schools will have built a society with people who treat each other with respect, equality, no matter how they dress, no matter what makeup they do. That's what I want. Because feminism is another word for equality. But if you still hate the word it’s not the word that is important, it’s the idea behind it. Think about it.

Thank you very much! And #Feminism!"


Répondre :

Bonjour, 
- au début je remplacerais les phrases "Today it’s an honor for me to being here. It’s a big moment in my life." par "Being here today is an honor for me. It is an important moment in my life", mais après il y a encore "important donc ça fait une répétition c'est pas top
- Ensuite "
And to do this I need everyone involved" je mettrais plutôt "So that equality can be possible, everyone has to be involved"
- Après tu as mis "noone" avec 2 "o" je pense que c'est une faute de frappe, sinon il n'en faut qu'un seul
- "I remember when I was 17" sans le "th" derrière
- "girlfriend" veut dire petite amie, je pense que tu as voulu dire une amie "fille", dans ce cas mets plutôt "a friend, a girl" ou "a friend" avec son prénom 
- quand tu parles du droit de vote c'est "fighting to have" et pas "for having" (pareil pour la phrase d'après) 
- "is that has to end" > "is that this has to end" 
- "have born" sans "e" à born 
- "as equals to men" 
- "make sure school will build" 
- "no matter how they make up" 

sinon je trouve ton texte très bien :)
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