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Bonjour, je prépare mes notions pour le bac d'anglais, pouvez-vous me dire si c'est juste svp ? SVP CORRIGEZ MOI !!!
C'est sur la notion Space and exchanges.
> Today, I'm going to speack about the notion space and exchanges.
First of all, I have to define the notion.
So, I can say that the notion deals with the geographical and symbolics areas that all society occupy and also all the interactions between men and different groups in many ways.
The theme with the notion is the American Dream.
So we can wonder ; Is th American Dream still alive ?
> To illustrate the notion, I have 4 documents.
The first document is a text who explains what the American Dream. We can see that the American Dream is to make a dream come true. The story of immigrants are Irish immigrants (Ellis Island), Mexican immigrants or refugees.
The immigrants escape to their countries becauses there is a war in their countries, poverty, religious persecution or dictatorship.
The second document is a photography a family migrant. Who turn their backs on their past and their hardships.
We can see a little boy is pointing at the statut of Liberty which is the symbol of their expectations.
The third document is a photography again which shows to control the identity of immigrants.
The scene takes place on Ellis Island between 1892 and 1994.
17 Millions peoples came through Ellis Island and these immigrants are the enustors of 100 Millions Americans.
The idea of there 3 documents are to show that the American Dream is difficult to access when we are immigrants.
The last document is a article from a blog by the written of the book intituled "Brotherhood".
The title insists on the link beetween immigration problems in America. They come for different reasons from something or came for education they all wanted a better future.
> I have the feeling that the American Dream is difficult to reach when coming from another country. To conclude their 4 documents integrate the notion of space and exchanges because America exchanges with other countries to give immigrants the chance to live a better world.


Répondre :

Bonjour, voici quelques corrections : 
-Today [...] to speak*
- between human* serait sûrement plus correct vu que "men" c'est le genre et pas l'espèce
- a text wich* explains (vu que c'est une chose) [...] what is* the american dream (même si je pense que ça tu l'as juste oublié)
- "The American Dream is -the idea of making-*" peut-être que ça passerait mieux
- (Je n'ai pas compris la phrase qui suit)
- escape from* their countries, because of the war, poverty, religious persecution [...]
- "the photography of a migrant family*"
- is a photography too* which shows the migrants' identity control 
- millions of* people [...] millions of* Americans
- the idea of these* three documents
- [...] the writter (?) 
- immigration and problems in USA. Immigrants come for differents reasons (après je n'ai pas compris la phrase)... they all want a better future
- when -you are from an other country-. To conclude, these* three documents integrate the notion of Spaces and Exchanges [...] to give to immigrants the chance of living in a better world. 
Voilà, bonne journée !

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