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IBANMAROTEL75VIZ
résolu

HELP
J'aurais besoin de qqn pour relire mon texte d'anglais et le corrige en mettant les fautes en évidence (gras ou couleur)
J'ai toujours eu des dificultés en anglais et souhaite comprendre donc si l'on pouvait me corriger pour que je comprenne
MERCI D'AVANCE

LE TEXTE:

In this account, I'm going to introduce to you my invention designed in partnership with an association of handicapped people, which I think she can change the life of some peoples. This idea came to me because I want help the handicapped peoples in her daily life.

My invention is intended for people who are missing a leg or an arm. Its purpose would to give back mobility and independence at the persons concerned
There are already solutions on the market, but often this prothesis are too much expensive, too much bulky, sparsely ergonomic.

Today I propose an alternative at this, one prothesis with simple use, economic, feathery. She will be made with 100% of recycled materials and print in 3D which will reduce the cost of production. Made to measure and adaptable on request she will totally adapted to the patient and these needs. Ended the frequent visit at the prosthetist. Motorized and connect to a smartphone by an application simple and ergonomic, she will transmit at the patient all the data we need (wear, modes, battery level …)

I think she can improve the daily of handicapped people by its practicality, its low cost and its minimalist conception. She has everything for seduce.

With regard to the cost question, the price it will not exceed 1200£ (against 6000£ in average usually) because she will be designed in low cost materials, print in 3D, designed by engineers and programmer voluntarily team. The customer support held by volunteers concerned by the handicap remain at your disposal for more information’s

Répondre :

Réponse : Bonjour,je n'ai pas mis les mots en gras car il y avait des mots que j'ai remplacai par d'autres mots alors j'etais pas sur que tu allais comprendre et il y a des mots que j'ai retire. si tu regarde ton texte et que tu le compare avec ma version tu vas voir la difference

In this account, I'm going to introduce  you my invention designed in partnership with an association of handicapped people, which may change the life of some peoples. This idea came to me because I want to help the handicapped people in their daily life.

My invention is invented for people who are missing a leg or an arm. Its purpose would  give back mobility and independence at the persons concerned .

There are already solutions on the market, but often this prothesis are too much expensive, too much bulky, sparsely ergonomic.

In this account, I'm going to introduce  you my invention designed in partnership with an association of handicapped people, which may change the life of some peoples. This idea came to me because I want help the handicapped peoples in their daily life.

Today ,I propose an alternative at this.One prothesis with a simple use economic and feathery. It  will be made with 100% of recycled materials and print in 3D which will reduce the cost of production. Made to measure and adaptable on request , it will totally be adapted to the patient's needs which will end  the frequent visit at the prosthetist. Motorized and connect to a smartphone by an application simple and ergonomic, it will transmit the patient all the data they need (wear, modes, battery level …)

I think that it can improve the daily of handicapped people by its practicality. Also, its cheap and its minimalist conception. It has everything to seduce .

With regard to the cost question, the price  will not exceed 1200£ (against 6000£ in average usually) because it will be designed with cheap materials, print in 3D, designed by engineers and programmers volunteer team. The customer support held by volunteers concerned by the handicap remain at your disposal for more information’s

Explications :

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